What to Look for in a Trans-Affirming Therapist
Where to begin.
Finding a therapist can feel daunting, particularly if you’re trans, non-binary or gender-diverse. Many people want to know what “trans-affirming” really means in practice, and how to tell whether a therapist is likely to be a good fit. This page outlines some key things to look for when choosing a trans-affirming therapist in the UK.
What does trans-affirming therapy mean?
At its simplest, trans-affirming therapy means working in a way that respects and affirms a person’s gender identity, without questioning its validity or treating it as a problem to be solved. A trans-affirming therapist does not see trans or non-binary identities as something to be explained away, fixed or justified.
In practice, this means therapy that is grounded in respect, curiosity and care, and that recognises the social, medical and relational contexts that trans and gender-diverse people are often navigating.
Why experience with trans and gender-diverse clients matters
Many therapists describe themselves as “inclusive”, but inclusion alone doesn’t always translate into meaningful experience. Working with trans and gender-diverse clients requires more than good intentions. It involves understanding the realities people may be facing, including minority stress, healthcare barriers, family dynamics and relationship change.
Experience matters because it shapes how safe a space feels. A therapist with relevant experience is more likely to understand what doesn’t need explaining, and where extra care or sensitivity might be needed.
The importance of the UK context
If you’re based in the UK, it can be helpful to work with a therapist who understands the specific social and healthcare context here. This might include familiarity with NHS and private healthcare pathways, the language used within UK services, and the wider cultural and political climate affecting trans and gender-diverse people.
Even when therapy is online, being UK-based can make a difference in terms of shared context and understanding.
Online therapy and access
Online therapy has opened up access for many people, particularly those who may not live near specialist services or who prefer to work remotely. For some, it offers greater privacy, flexibility and continuity of support.
When considering online therapy, it’s worth thinking about what helps you feel comfortable and supported, and whether the therapist has experience working effectively in an online setting.
Therapy for partners and relationships
Gender exploration or transition doesn’t happen in isolation. Partners and relationships are often affected too, and it can be important for them to have space to explore their own experiences.
A trans-affirming therapist should be able to work not only with individuals, but also with partners and different relationship structures, offering support around communication, change and connection.
Questions you can ask before starting therapy
It’s okay to ask questions before committing to therapy. A consultation can help you get a sense of whether someone feels like the right fit. Useful questions might include:
What experience do you have working with trans and gender-diverse clients?
How do you approach gender identity in therapy?
Do you work with partners or relationships as well as individuals?
Are sessions online, and are you UK-based?
There are no right or wrong answers – what matters is how the responses land for you.
A final thought
Choosing a therapist is a personal decision. A trans-affirming therapist should offer a space where you feel respected, believed and supported, and where your experiences are taken seriously. Taking time to ask questions and explore your options can be an important part of that process.
A note on my background and writing
Alongside my clinical work, I am also involved in writing and publishing around gender, sexuality and relationships. I have contributed a chapter to Erotically Queer (Routledge), and I am the editor of A Letter to My Little Trans Self, published by Hotpencil Press, an independent press I run.
This work sits alongside my therapy practice and informs how I think about gender, intimacy and care, without taking precedence over the needs of the people I work with in the room.
Get in Touch!
Schedule a free introductory session with me to discuss your therapy needs.